Couples Coaching

I believe that the ultimate goal of marriage is to maintain a close friendship and passionate love throughout a lifetime spent together. This is achieved through a lifetime of exploring one another, being each other’s closest ally, and creating shared memories together. While this is the ultimate goal, we often encounter difficulties and trials along the way that can threaten to derail us. In all relationships, conflict is present and unavoidable, even in the most successful relationships. Gottman Relationship Institute reports that 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual. Learning to apply effective conflict management tools can be the difference between begrudgingly enduring a relationship and enjoying a life together.

Can you answer yes to any of these questions?

  • Is your marriage or relationship not what it used to be?
  • Are you struggling to understand your partner lately and missing the closeness you once had?
  • Are you feeling unappreciated, like your partner takes you for granted? 
  • Are you feeling unhappy and unfulfilled?
  • You love your partner, but you’re in a negative cycle that just keeps repeating
  • You feel disconnected and detached from your partner
  • When you approach your partner about an issue, they shut down or get angry
  • You struggle to talk about your sexual preferences and desires
  • Your sex life is no longer as hot and passionate as it once was, or maybe even non-existent
  • You go silent on a partner, change the subject, or endure uncomfortable situations instead of expressing issues openly
  • You’re wondering why everything turns into a fight
  • You are having a lot of unproductive and hurtful arguments
  • You constantly feel like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back in your relationship

If you answered yes, you are in the right place! Marriage is a deep personal investment, and when things go wrong it can erode your confidence and sense of self. You might feel fatigued, confused, and helpless when it comes to making a change.

I Can Help!

Sign up for a Relationship Health Assessment here to understand how you got here and what can you do.

I utilize the latest and most effective techniques from the Gottman Institute and Acceptance Commitment Coaching that involve a thorough assessment of the relationship with research-based interventions to create a rich and meaningful relationships that lasts.

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Scientific Approach Leads to Better Results

I utilize the latest and most effective techniques from the Gottman Relationship Institute and Acceptance Commitment Coaching that involve a thorough assessment of the relationship with research-based interventions to create a rich and meaningful relationship that lasts.

Gottman method

Gottman Method combines the knowledge and wisdom of more than three decades of Gottman research and clinical practice of brilliant John and Julie Gottman. Through research-based interventions and exercises, it helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy in their relationships

Based on the analysis of thousands of hours of videotaped conversations between couples about their difficulties, Gottman is able to predict with 91% accuracy whether a particular couple will stay together or divorce.

In Gottman Method, the couple brings into a session all aspects of their relationship and begin to work on the dysfunctional negative interaction patterns (escalation or emotional disengagement) and on replacing the Four Horsemen (divorce predictors: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling) with their antidotes in order to make the conflict discussions more functional, constructive, and regulated. It also focuses on emotional repair, and on building safety, trust, bonding, love, intimacy, friendship, and positive affect.

The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work

Gottman’s method is based on the "sound relationship house" theory that encompasses a number of key factors in maintaining happy and healthy relationships. By intervening in the seven areas of the “sound relationships house” the Gottman approach is effective at breaking the negative patterns, creating greater connection and intimacy, and making the marriage work. The seven areas of intervention include:

  • Enhancing your love maps—creating connection through what you know about your partner and their daily life. Knowing your partner's feelings, needs, fears, and dreams.
  • Nurture fondness and admiration – turning attention towards the positive in the ways you think about your partner and your relationship.
  • Turning towards each other – creating positive sentiment override by making and responding to bids for connection, and supporting each other through difficulties outside the relationship with the stress reducing conversation.
  • Let your partner influence you — getting past cultural and gender conditioning that make people reluctant to accept new ideas.
  • Resolving solvable conflicts, through techniques for softening startups for difficult conversations, making repair attempts when communications go off track, soothing yourself and your partner when emotional flooding prevents effective communication.
  • Overcoming gridlock in “perpetual problems” by understanding the historical basis of each partner’s deeply held values and underlying wishes and dreams behind the conflict.
  • Creating shared rituals that express and support the values and aspirations of both partners.

acceptance commitment Method

Acceptance Commitment method focuses on 3 main areas

1. Accepting our emotional reactions while staying present

2. Using Values to guide our actions

3. Committing to taking action and building a better relationship


Acceptance Commitment method is primarily a mindfulness based approach that helps couples accept and validate all of their emotional experiences by removing shame and avoidance. This process is guided by the idea that there is validity not only in the emotional experience we have, but the one that our partner has as well. Often when we have an emotional reaction that leaves us feeling stuck, it's because it's rooted in something that's happened in our past. With Acceptance Commitment method, partners learn how to acknowledge their past with compassion and let go of unhelpful thoughts that keep us from being in the current moment together. Partners learn to identify their inner voice - the one that judges themselves and their partners - and create space in their awareness to be able to move through difficult moments together.


Everyone has their own set of values, and every couple has a set of shared values that help guide them towards goals. Through identifying core values and exploring our conscious and subconscious beliefs about how to behave within those values, couples are able to build upon strengths and step out of common myths about how to be. When we think about how we "should" be in the context of a relationship, we become rigid in our thinking. By refocusing on our values, instead of the rules we have about them, partners can create workable strategies for compromise and validation.


Acceptance Commitment method prompts couples to take the lessons they learn about mindfulness and values to determine a course of action that moves them closer to their goals. By committing to action couples are able to take tangible steps towards living in congruence with their personal and shared values. Couples work together to set goals, agree on boundaries, and maintain a mindset of openness to more workable ways of being in a relationship.

By partnering with me, I will help you with the following:

  • Ability to communicate in a way that leads to feeling heard, understood, and validated
  • Discover the underlying patterns in your relationship that are at the root of your issues
  • Learn how to shift things towards a new, positive direction – overcoming obstacles to develop a deeply satisfying relationship
  • Learn to see each other’s perspectives
  • Reconcile long-standing differences
  • Rebuild trust, safety, and security in your relationship
  • Increase intimacy and connection
  • Negotiate and compromise in useful ways
  • Identify and speak each other’s love languages
  • Parent together in harmony
  • Step into a deeply connected world where you feel alive and excited to be in your relationships

With me on your team, you gain an expert ally to raise awareness, create compelling action plans, and receive step-by-step guidance in creating the life you love and the relationships that set your soul on fire!

If you are ready to implement the skills it takes to tap into your full potential and start living a life you love and have a relationship full of connection, intimacy, and affection, sign up for one of our coaching packages today!

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Family with husband, wife, son and daughter

"Anna is a wonderful executive coach. Regardless of the goals I set out, and the pivots that I needed to make, she was continuously able to steer me in the right direction so I could get past the hurdles in front of me. She has been quick to understand the root causes of roadblocks and ready with guidance on how to approach and overcome these obstacles. She is very patient and caring and always had a positive attitude when working with me. I..."

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"Anna is hands down the best coach I've worked with. She's intuitive but doesn't make assumptions, so her style is one of guiding versus directing. This allows plenty of room for self-exploration, which has enabled me to grow professionally (and personally) in a short space of time. I highly recommend working with Anna."


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"From the beginning, I have found Anna to be an insightful and caring coach with a natural intuition about how to tackle issues that otherwise were not apparent to me personally. Anna has patiently worked with me to think through ways to improve my outlook and actions and has not hesitated to bluntly remind me of when I have not followed through with the plans we have developed. Anna is both supportive and demanding, the best combination I..."

Casey L.

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"Anna is a thoughtful, brilliant coach. Anna helped me shape my own authentic leadership style rooted in my values and supported by the best practices in the leadership field. I’ve worked with Anna on a wide range of topics including leadership, team management, talent development and managing my anxiety. Anna has given me very concrete ideas that I’ve been implementing daily at work - and she tailors her coaching to me, my leadership style..."

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"Anna has been the single most helpful voice in my coaching journey. Within only a few sessions she provided me with spot-on good insights. This advice would stick to me, as powerful helpful reminders throughout the weeks to come helping me deal with anxiety. From day one she had an accurate and deep understanding of my concerns, and from there, we outlined action plans that were straightforward and effective. After our sessions, I always feel..."

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"Working with Anna, there was no doubt she was completely invested in my success. She takes a highly personalized approach to coaching and is a terrific listener—always helping me to uncover those lightbulb moments for me. I came to her to work on professional development, and I finished with having a clearer understanding of myself, which benefitted me beyond just my career. She is a trusted partner who is motivating, patient and asks the..."

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""Anna was a wonderful coach - she provided me with tools that helped get my anxiety under control, manage my stress better, and practice mindfulness. Anna has a very thoughtful and caring approach and I found it very easy to communicate with her. She helped me realize that I was frequently falling into the catastrophizing "mental trap" and I am now better equipped to challenge that thinking trap and stop myself from catastrophizing, which has..."

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"Anna is an incredible coach and has helped me tremendously on my wellness journey. She’s been able to help me work through my issues on a large and small scale by identifying the root cause and offering concrete solutions. I understand myself in a way I didn’t before, and I am eternally grateful for Anna because of it. I highly recommend working with her!"


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"Initially my goal was to improve Executive Presence under Pressure and I am really thankful that I got in touch with Anna. We have spoken at length at Thinking Traps, Opposite Reaction, Breathing techniques etc. etc. that have really helped me be more mindful, calm & composed. Anna is a great listener and asks very good questions which at-times makes me really & deeply think about the Why! Thank you Anna for your support on helping me improve..."

Siddharth S.

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"I cannot recommend Anna Barnhill highly enough. As my coach, I can always count on Anna to actively listen and provide meaningful input during our sessions. She has thoughtful responses and makes it a point to ask if there is something she can help with. The tools she has provided me with, will help me for a lifetime to come. I am grateful for finding Anna, and all the progress we have made together! "

Christian G.

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"Anna has been instrumental in providing me new tools to increase the effectiveness and impact of my communication both professionally and in my marriage. Anna coached me through various techniques to improve my perception of information presented to me while also improving my approach to connecting and delivering my message with maximum efficiency. All of Anna’s coaching has been backed with supplemental materials and role play scenarios..."

Matt H.

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"Anna has been great to work with. Her knowledge on the material and how our brain works has been extremely helpful. She has coached me and gave me tools to develop and help me when I run into problems. We have talked about multiple topics and she has found ways to help. How she is different from others is she will make you think and give your homework. She will make sure you are challenged and practice your tools to help develop your skills..."

Mike D.

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"Anna is an excellent coach, that is extremely results-focused. She has a strong ability to create awareness of what is holding you back, as well as a plan for moving forward. She asks powerful questions that help to create amazing discoveries and helps to build you up to be able to pursue your big dreams in life. She is calm, professional, and committed to your success. As a result of her coaching, I was able to take significant steps in my..."

Chris A.

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"I’m a professional and creative who typically considers herself to be a highly motivated go-getter. However, at the stage I met Anna, I was lost, angry and stuck. I wanted to blame anyone and everything but myself for my “being off my game”. Under all the layers of shame, guilt and procrastination lived the truth – I was 100% responsible for healing myself. Anna helped me uncover this reality. It felt as if her light gave me the..."

Michelle H.

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"Anna has been an amazing life coach. She has given me the necessary tools to allow me to be mentally aware and be as present as possible in order to navigate any situation at hand. Her guidance in how to use these tools and how to navigate mental traps has been fundamental and have helped me reduce stress, approach life with a much simpler outlook, and balance my time in ways I was not able to do before. - Thank you so much, Anna. I was able..."

Daniela M.

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"I have greatly appreciated my time with Anna! She exuded an amazing balance between care and constructive guidance. She met me right where I was at every point in time and did so without judgement or critique. She offered thoughtful advice founded in both personal experience and knowledge. Anna always made sure to communicate prior to our meetings what specifically I wanted to cover, which I always appreciated. "

Luke R.

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"I absolutely recommend Anna as a coach. She is gentle, intuitive, and intelligent. She debriefed my ELI assessment and did an amazing job understanding where I come from and helping me be go through my blocks with compassion. If you are looking to understand you fears and the things that are stopping you to do better at work and life in general, she is the right person! Her work is amazing! Thank you, Anna! "

Katherine M

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"Anna was a great coach to work with! She listens really well and asks pointed questions to get to the bottom of an issue. She makes me feel challenged … and inspires me to think in different ways. Her mental traps framework is very effective in helping me catching and labeling self-sabotaging thoughts as they occur, and I like the perspective switching to ask myself "what would I say/do to my best friend" to cultivate self-compassion. Thanks..."


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"Working with Anna has been so beneficial to my career development and personal life. Her approach to coaching, identification of areas that need to be worked on, and finding solutions to life's challenges is incredibly motivating to me. In addition, she is always sharing helpful resources that I can easily follow through. Her kindness and honesty during our sessions made our conversations feel very comfortable. Thank you, Anna! "

Patricia S.

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